What Could've Been
by Midnight Raptor
Summary: No one could make Captain Jack Sparrow regret being a pirate. No one but her. Onesided JE or Sparrabeth. Please R&R!


Pairing: Jack/Elizabeth or Sparrabeth

Status: One-shot set after DMC

A/N: This just popped into my head one sleepless night and wouldn't leave me alone so I had to get it out. Enjoy and please R&R!

Disclaimer: I own this like I own the oceans.

What Could've Been

He watched her from behind the safety of a stone pillar, with each moment he spent there growing more and more agonizing. It tore him apart to see her there with another man, to see her look deeply into his eyes and tell him she loved him, to see him share the same response as he gently cupped her beautiful face in his hands. By God, it hurt. He didn't want to remember what she had said to him after they had gotten him safely back onto the_ Pearl_ just a few weeks ago. He didn't want to remember but he remembered anyway.

_"I didn't mean what I said to you, Jack." she whispered, not looking into his eyes. "I was sorry. I was sorry from the moment I made up my mind."_

_"Aye, Lizzie, I understand." Jack carefully tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "But you did what's right by you, savvy? Can't expect more than that." Slowly, he brought his face closer to hers, feeling the warmth of her breath against his face._

_But a finger on his lips prevented them from reaching hers. "I can't Jack." There was a new edge in her voice, one mixed with regret, pain, and guilt. "I can't hurt Will more than I have already. I love him." Her hazel eyes finally flew up to meet his. "That kiss was a diversion on my part. Nothing more. Whatever it was to you is none of my business but I beg you to put it from your mind."_

_The corners of Jack's mouth quirked a bit in a rueful smile. "I'm afraid the action of that request is far from happening, love."_

_Elizabeth bowed her head. "Then it will be your torment. I'm sorry, Jack."_

Jack clenched his jaw, feeling the raw pain of that memory rip through him with new fury. He had been rejected. No one had ever rejected Captain Jack Sparrow. No one but her. Never before had he felt what it was like to have his heart broken. The women loved him. They'd do almost anything to be with him. But she was different and he knew that from the start.

He knew that letting her in was a mistake. She made him vulnerable and open, something that he hated feeling. But he just couldn't resist her complexity, her wit, her spontaneity and in the end he gave in and he paid for his choice now.

His thoughts were drawn to the present and he now saw them holding hands reciting their vows. No one could make Captain Jack Sparrow regret being a pirate. No one but her. And as he saw her there he began to take back his life, filling them instead with "ifs".

If he had been a respectable man in society instead of an outcast. If he had kept his job as a privateer for that blasted Beckett all those years ago. If he had been someone else other than the sodding pirate that he was now, he could have had a chance at being the man with her right now. Even if it was the slightest chance in all damnation he wouldn't care; a chance was a chance. But as Captain Jack Sparrow he was one of the last men on earth who could have her.

Ahead of him, the pair was wrapping up their vows. His stomach tightened suddenly as he saw her start to lean forward, tipping her head up. His heart pounded madly against his chest, threatening to beat itself out of his body. At the last second, he turned away, unable to take the sight any longer and sprinted for the exit on silent feet. He wanted nothing more than to escape from this place, to put his heartbreak behind him and let it drift away in the wind. By God, he wanted that. He ran and he ran, right through the streets of Port Royal. Not a soul noticed him for basically the whole town, including the Navy, was engrossed in the wedding of the governor's only daughter and the blacksmith back at the fort.

When he got to the little rowboat he had come ashore in from the _Pearl_, he rowed for all he was worth, never pausing to take a breath. The ship was anchored just behind the bluff on the outskirts of town, making it well hidden and easy to make a quick escape. Upon his return to the ship, the crew helped him onboard but with silent mouths and feet. Never before had their captain return to the _Pearl _as quietly as he had now. Out of habit, they checked the water for any longboats from the Navy only to find calmness in the ocean. The crew looked at one another apprehensively. No Navy chasing after the captain. No shouted orders barely heard above the sound of gunfire. No grand entrance enough to scare the bejesus out of them. Only deafening silence to meet their ears. They knew something was wrong. But they said nothing and only watched as Jack walked across the deck, barely noticing their presence. He ran his hand over the railings of the ship, letting his eyes slowly wander over the beaten wood. The crew saw that right now he was deep inside his own thoughts and dared not disturb him although they needed their orders. After a minute, Gibbs finally had the guts to perturb the captain's thoughts.

"Where to cap'n?" he asked quietly, coming up beside him.

Jack stopped in his tracks and looked at the planks, silent. Then, in a voice that no one had ever heard before he replied softly, "Anywhere, Mr. Gibbs. Anywhere but here."

Gibbs waited a while longer for Jack to elaborate on his words but when no explanation came the first mate nodded and turned to the crew. "Aye, you know what to do, you dogs!"

As the men prepared the _Pearl _for cast off, Jack made his way to the helm. He stood at the wheel and felt a cool breeze blow from the starboard side, taking care to keep his eyes trained on the mast. Slowly, he brought them up and looked to the side. In the distance, he could see the fort, its solid stone walls outlined by the red coats of the Navy. He could almost hear the music echoing while the festivities went on. He could sense almost every little thing in that fort and it absolutely pained him to do so. Dropping his eyes slightly, he swore that he would never return to this port even if it mean the death of him. Then he took one last look at the woman he loved and the memories that haunted him and turned his back.


End file.
